he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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