I showed him my bush... on skype.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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