i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
