You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
