He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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