I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
