i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
