Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
