I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
