i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize