i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
