I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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