im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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