9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
