No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
