Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
