i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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