You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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