I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
