I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
