so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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