i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
