If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
