I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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