Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
