Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
