i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
