you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
