Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
