you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
40s are totally the cure
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
