so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
