I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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