i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
