This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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