Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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