That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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