is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
