That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How's work?
Spinning.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
