Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
