Where is the hickey?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
