Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
