You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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