He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
