Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
