Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
