I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
