I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
