I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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