the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
