We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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