I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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