i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
