Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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