Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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