Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
