In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
