I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
