He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
