Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
