i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
