I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
